One of the biggest recruiting mistakes I see isn’t a lack of talent.

It’s parents doing the work for their player instead of with them.

After helping hundreds of families through the recruiting process, I’ve learned that college coaches aren’t just evaluating talent—they’re evaluating ownership.

Parents often take over recruiting by sending every email and handling every conversation with coaches. While it comes from a good place, coaches want to hear directly from the player. They recruit athletes who can communicate, lead themselves, and take initiative.

Another common mistake is waiting too long to build ownership. Many families don’t hand over recruiting responsibilities until junior year, which can create stress and missed opportunities. Confidence and self-advocacy are skills that need to be developed over time.

The third mistake is making the process about the parent’s goals instead of the player’s goals. The best athletes are driven by their own ambitions, not someone else’s expectations. Your role is to support your player, not carry them.

Here’s a simple challenge: have your son write one email to a college coach this week. Review it together if you’d like, but let him hit send.

Small moments of ownership today create confident, recruitable players tomorrow.